And Nothing But the Stars Above Us, Part 2
by berry-cool
Summary: The second part of the three-part episode in Rogue One: Encore. Find Part 1 here: p?storyid 12367277 In the aftermath of Jyn's flight with Cassian which saw them erupt into a heated argument, Bodhi and Luke try to bring their friends back together.


Jyn sat in her quarters that night, a feeling in her stomach that she couldn't quite place, that she hadn't felt before. She thought back to all the other times she might have felt a similar way and realised that she could only place it two other times: when her mother had died and she had gone into hiding, and when she had been abandoned by Saw. Both times the feeling - _this_ feeling - had stayed with her for several days, and she had been unable to sleep or eat properly because it made her feel so uncomfortable.

The feeling wasn't loss: no, she was very familiar with that sensation and it was one that she had learned to brush off over the years. No, it was the fear of loss. When it had been her mother her eight year old mind hadn't understood it, had sat in denial whilst in her head she bargained with anything and everything she possibly could for it to not be so. That had been the hardest hurdle. Then with Saw it had been similar. He had been closest thing to a father she had after losing her real father the first time... and then he had completely disappeared on her. It had felt like going all the way back to square one.

And now the feeling was back again, tight in her chest, making her both paralysed and restless at the same time. All because of her stupid daring, what she now knew she could admit was her just trying to impress _him. Cassian_. It wasn't that he needed her to prove anything to him, but nevertheless she wanted to show him that she was good, the best of the best, able to be as good at him at almost anything. For he was so good at so much and though Jyn had never had the time to ever be insecure about anything in her life she wanted to remind him that she was his equal, wanted to make sure he didn't forget just because they weren't out in the field.

She was angry at herself, now, for caring so much about what he thought, about what any of her friends thought. Jyn forced herself to quell the irrational anger. It was nice having friends, all of the surviving Rogue One crew she had spent time with over these past few months; but this was the first time in a long time she had felt the reverse sting of caring too much. She had to shut her eyes and tell herself it was worth it for these people, these kind and good people that loved and protected her. She didn't need to run any more.

Jyn was so deep in thought that she did not notice the door to her quarters slide open.

"Jyn?" said a voice, making her jump. No, it wasn't him.

"Luke," she said, trying to make herself sound more cheerful than she felt. "How are you? How is everything?"

"I'm alright," she said. "Just having a bit of a break after that excitement today -"

"Yeah, I saw," said the young pilot. "You er, you feeling okay?"

"What, yeah, of course," she replied quickly. "Why wouldn't I?"

"You know," she heard him say. "Whenever I'm stressed I feel a good flight under the stars does the trick. No daring moves, mind - but it helps clear my head."

Jyn felt herself nod, felt a warm hand pat her shoulder as she mumbled something about a thank you and about how nice stars were. She didn't notice Luke say goodbye, or the door shut once more. _Stars. Stars were nice._

* * *

Cassian lay back on his bed and took a long, deep breath. This was ridiculous, he felt ridiculous. He shouldn't have gotten angry. You shouted at a child, someone you couldn't reason with, someone you couldn't trust. Jyn wasn't that person and for him to come out with such biting words - well, no wonder she didn't want to talk to him right now. He bit lip... what if she'd never want to talk to him ever again. She was a strong woman: she sure as hell didn't need to have him in her life if he had crossed a line...

Oh, it had looked all so good on paper, his taking her up into the sky, teaching her how to fly that damn X-Wing, spending more time with her. And then she had pushed that plane just a little bit too hard and he had ripped one off her.

" _Stupido_ ," he scolded himself, as her rolled over and sat up on the bed. "Total idiot."

 _No one shouts at Jyn Erso unless they want to show the meaning of the phrase 'bitten off more than you can chew'_ , he had once joked to Baze. Yet here he was…

His fingers gripped the edge of his bed. _Should he go and talk to her?_ No, no she always needed time to sit and stew and be angry. _But how long was too long?_ She had never been angry with him like this before - what if he left it too long and she thought he didn't care? _Should he knock and check?_

 _But what if he got the timing wrong and instead it looked like he wasn't making any effort to read her moods?_ Well, knowing her she'd laugh and say it wasn't anyone's job to read her moods if she couldn't be bothered to be clear about what she wanted. _But what if this time was different?_

Cassian growled in frustration and was about to jump up from the bed when he saw the door to his quarters slide open and the Bodhi Rook came into view.

"Damn you look rough," said the pilot. "Just saw what happened back there. You alright?"

"Yeah, fine," he mumbled. "I just got worried, that's all."

"Don't sweat it man, we all did," Bodhi replied. "And it's midday and all, you know? Hot, sweltering, emotions heightening, sun beating down. All that hoohah. That was never gonna help."

Cassian mumbled by way of reply.

"You know what, just like, go for a night flight or something," said Bodhi. "When no one's about and you've got some space to think and breathe and it's all calming. That'll help. I'm sure of it."

Cassian nodded, unconvinced, but glad someone had offered some kind of solution.

"Thanks Bodhi," he mumbled back. "See you at dinner."

"See you cap'n."

Then the doors slid shut and Cassian was left with Bodhi's words. Yeah, he was right. It was nice and cooling and open at night. And there would be stars out too, wouldn't there? _Stars. Stars were nice._


End file.
